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3 years and 4 months - everything you never wanted
3 years and 4 months
it's been 3 years and 4 months since my last update. for shame. my days have turned mostly into same shit different day kind of generally, mostly because i am busy. i don't even know who still updates but i'm about to find out.

i decided i should try and keep plugging into this guy because having a record of my past has always been something i really enjoyed. it's a shame to miss all the little things from the past almost 3 and half years but i suppose i'll survive.

let's see if i can wrap up the past 3+ years succinctly:

where did we leave off? oh yes, becky gave mark our 30 days. around the beginning of 2011 we were pretty much moved in to our new place, a very cozy (tiny) row house in barney circle, south east. things were good i'm imagining.

in june of 2011 becky and i flew down to florida for my mother's side of the family small-ish family reunion. met a lot of my family for the first time. first time i had seen my mother in 11 years. it was fantastic. i walked in to my grandfather's condo he was staying in where everyone gathered daily, and there everyone was, either sitting around the table or watching the folks sitting around the table, and they were playing some fun and ridiculous drinking game. i was home.

it truly was great to see that side of the family, to see where some of my "nature" versus nurture comes from. to catch up with my aunts and my grandparents, to meet the younger generation. and it was great to have becky there, to see all this too.

when we had originally arrived in florida i was struck by how much older my mother looked but i suppose 11 years will do that to you. and my sister, who was with her, was high on pcp and who knows what else as she nodded out in the car... i guess that'll age you too.

it was a great visit, all in all.

fast forward a few months later. DC has an earthquake, what? also, a new 21 year old girl started working at phase. i literally paid her no mind until i did. it started with just chit chatting. then i saw her on h st outside of work one friday and invited her to come in and have some drinks. she had some drinks. then she said she wanted to go home and change. when she came back she was looking extra good. i should've gotten the memo then.

we texted often and developed crushes while my relationship rapidly deteriorated with becky. it wasn't great that summer, and boy did it start crashing fast after. we disagreed on a lot, and i felt like she didn't much like me or care for much i had to say, and here was this shiny 21 year old who just thought i was the bees knees.

i cheated. i cheated for 6 months all the while just knowing becky and i could find a way to figure it out. right? wrong. morning of march 24th, 2012, becky found out. and i fled the house only to return a few days later to retrieve my things off the lawn. we had coordinated a time for me to pick up my darling cats, cricket and loki. an hour before i was supposed to she left me a voicemail sobbing, begging to keep them. i agreed of course.

the 21 year old, marissa, and i, continued on our way, with me insisting as i had just gotten out of a relationship i didn't want to immediately be in another one. that sort of did not pan out. and breakups are messy. and becky and i slept together a few times over the summer, and then tried to reconcile in the fall of '12. i even went to couples therapy with her. but the horse was dead. i walked out of her house a final time sometime in november. and she still won't let me see my cats.

all the while i'm still djing every saturday at phase and working during the week for mark at whiskey's. pretty darn lucky to have a steady job.

fall of 2012 and marissa and i have broken up our unofficial relationship but by winter were back together, naturally. it was not a good relationship. there's lots of finger pointing and blame that could happen but in the end, we were just shit people to each other. by spring 2013 i was fed up with marissa. she'd barely worked in a year and i paid all her bills while she continued to be lazy during the day and go out at night. and then a friendship i'd had seemed to spark my interest more than she cared for.

somewhere in there marissa had begun stealing money from kate (the roommate) and i, and spending it on drugs and going out. i think i suspected something but could never pinpoint it. until early june a friend approached me and gave me the lowdown and even showed me lots of text exchanges with marissa. i talked to some alcohol about it, marched home, threw the bedroom door open, and declared she had one week to get a job, or else.

so we broke up. but she found a job and i didn't have the heart to kick her out. meanwhile this friendship that was holding my interest more than it should have turned into me falling in love, ever so briefly. i never told anyone. she could've guessed. maybe a few other people could've guess, assuming anyone was paying attention. but she was in a relationship. still is. and she's still a great friend.

sporadically throughout the past 7 years i'd randomly text or get a text from an old friend named Jackie. her attempts to contact me since fall of 2012 became much more frequent and much more obvious. she'd gotten out of a long terrible relationship about a year and half ago, had lost a lot of weight, and was really trying to cross me off her to do list after 7 years because lord knows once in my life i was smart and told a girl i wouldn't sleep with her because i knew it would end badly.

so here we were, 7 years later, and she was clear on what her intent was. and i kind of shied away. until the end of july. i was having a great fucking night at phase and jackie showed up and i kissed her right on the mouth. i went home with her that night, she made me one of the best breakfasts i've ever had the next morning, and all was well.

a few weeks went by and i didn't have much to say as i was trying to sort out my emotional wreckage of being in love with this friend. little did i know jackie had actually very recently gotten out of another relationship where she wasn't treated as well as she should've been so she was feeling raw and i was cold so most of august was a little tense.

end of august i blow out my right ankle. again. yep just like in the summer of 2009. i immediately sought out jackie that day who helped me with my final errands before i was out the work game. i was on crutches for 3 weeks, seeing jackie here and there where i could. in that time my grandfather, peepaw, died on my 31st birthday. couldn't have been more fitting because i know i get a lot of personality from him. so i flew down to florida and stayed with my aunt connie who i hadn't seen in 15 or so years and it was like time never passed. what an amazing woman. i met all her 6 kids, what a great family.

jackie picked me up from the airport when i came back from florida. we slowly spent more and more time together. marissa slowly unravelled more and more during that process. kate and i had to agree to kick her out, she wasn't contributing to the household. i stopped talking to marissa october 17th because, i couldn't take any more of her nonsense. she still emails/texts bizarre things every once in a while. she lives in west virginia now with her father.

meanwhile jackie and i are still getting closer. it was a close call though. her recent ex-boyfriend is a total asshole that had a complete hold on her. incidentally and through no discussion between us, jackie stopped talking to her ex also on october 17th.

even though i don't look good on paper and jackie was really trying to protect her heart, we are now officially together and it is good. we don't get to see much of each other except the weekends. but we are great. healthy. happy. she's a montessori teacher, pretty delightful. we've had our moments but the 7 years of previous friendship made it easy to get along and have a lot of trust early on.

i would've put all that behind a cut but i forget how and who cares? we can all scroll past shit right?

so here i am folks, 31 years old, and pretty much living the dream. i still drink too much but i get my job done, i get it down well, i take care of my friends and my girlfriend the best way i know how, and generally live a good life. come at me 2014.
2 comments or Leave a comment
pegsioux From: pegsioux Date: March 21st, 2014 02:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Is it wrong that after reading all of this (it was awesome, by the way), all I can think of is....MONTESSORI TEACHER?

Seriously though, I am so glad you're happy. Big love to you, darlin'.


goodchase From: goodchase Date: April 2nd, 2014 05:20 am (UTC) (Link)

Hi PSue. Miss you.
2 comments or Leave a comment